Because you need to fix it. Who loves, corrects. But to correct charitably, kindly, and knowing that the woman is someone else.

Dating is not the place for you to seek emotional support. Often, the virtuous woman is a protection that leads us to God, the Father of consolations, source of all protection. But dating is not made for that, it is just a grace that he sometimes grants.

J. R. R. Tolkien well said in a letter to his son, Michael, that the Most Holy Eucharist is the source of comfort, strength and protection. The woman, according to him, is only our “shipwreck companion”, in a world wounded by sin. She too is sinful and limited, and we must every day want to take her soul to God.

This demands a life of prayer. The personal prayer life is expected to have developed before dating (but it’s never too late to start!), But dating also calls for common prayer. You are wanting to spend your whole life together! Build a family! Learn to pray together. Create a commitment to the holy rosary. Participate in Eucharistic worship. Meditate on the Word and talk to each other about the fruits of meditation itself. Go to Holy Mass together. Make pilgrimages and novenas asking for the graces you need. Intercede for each other.

Chastity will not be possible without a life of prayer. Personal and joint. Furthermore, the escape from occasions is fundamental. But without prayer, we soon started looking for occasions. So be sure to pray together. And in the falls, get up and look for the holy remedy of confession, which allows us to continue where we left off. Without despair, because this is the devil’s thing.

If they are able to pray together, and one leads the other to God, it is the best indication of a holy courtship. If you are able to forgive each other, if you are patient with each other, if time passes and you can see concrete fruits of growth, then it is a sign that the thing is well underway and the courtship is going to end.

A pious priest once said: “In the past, couples wanted to build something together. Today, people want to build their own lives and then they think about getting married ”.

If you have the minimum to start your life together, you can get engaged. But we are not only talking about the minimum material.

Guaranteeing a roof over your head and food on the table is a challenge, without a doubt. But the truth is that today we live in a materially much more favorable context than our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and all of humanity before us did.

The minimum conditions also include perseverance in prayer, patience with the other’s main weaknesses, ability to forgive, firm purpose of educating children in the faith.

Dating should be a school of all this. If so, the material is secondary. Look at the example of the Holy Family.

São José, having his workshop in Nazaré, built his house, had guaranteed the necessary material for the family. As soon as Jesus is born, he needs to leave all this behind and go to live in a foreign land to protect Christ from Herod.

If Mary and Joseph were not saints completely handed over to God, they would not be supported by providence and would not be able to go through this mission.

So is human life. There are necessarily unforeseen events. We are all subject to need, and at that time, what supports us is providence, and the food to maintain the heroic virtues that these moments call for is the sacrament and prayer.

Do not fear the engagement. The Pope asked in the apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia that young couples do not fear a simple ceremony. A big expensive party is not essential for the wedding. Being a company manager is not. Neither a salary of 15 thousand and a master’s degree.

May God help all young couples to live this holy vocation. Men, look at Christ and his nourishing father, St. Joseph. They will be your guides on this journey!

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