Professor Carlos Ramalhete says that dating is looking for someone to “get old together”. So don’t date a girl who doesn’t allow that perspective. This carries many subjective and particular factors, but there are things that apply to every Catholic man.
For example, it makes no sense to date a girl who doesn’t embrace the Catholic marriage proposal. The sacrament calls for three requirements: indissolubility, openness to life and commitment to raising children in the faith. This limits many things.
A virtuous girl, who seeks chastity, is a person of goodwill … but is committed to a Protestant church. Do you think she would accept raising children in the faith? It doesn’t make sense to start a relationship.
It is possible for a non-Catholic to be sincerely willing to do this, and it would reveal a strong openness to conversion, but it is a case of extreme exception.
So when looking for a girl, start with the Church. In your parish, in a movement that you participate in. Try to surround yourself with good Catholic friendships, and you will certainly run into good girls.
But just as a man must have human maturity, the woman in question must have a certain maturity. We all have defects, and we do not say to wait for a perfect woman, but it is good to know if the girl has a sense of what her vocation is, has a desire to sincerely seek virtues (only the effort to seek them, we should not expect perfection of nobody), is a person committed to the Church and cultivates a life of piety.
These things are visible during a sincere friendship. So, cultivate friendships. Don’t be afraid of the “friendzone”: it doesn’t make sense to date a girl you just met. Date a girl who lived with her friends showed signs of maturity.
There are personal factors, which must be taken into account: if your profession will make you travel for long periods, it is not prudent to date a girl who does not handle long absences well. Although common tastes are not decisive factors (in dating, we learn to like new things, it is natural) it is also not smart to date someone with whom you have no common taste. This is rare between two people in the Church, but there are personalities who are very different.
One piece of advice is to ask for advice. A friend of the common life of both, who has an outside view, can give the opinion. It is good to ask for these opinions (but not many) from third parties. Several times we see couples who do not agree on anything, in the heat of passion, wasting time trying something.
Make good friends, meet good girls, and once the moment arises, ask for a close friend’s opinion. It looks like it will work out between you and the girl?
The truth is that there are many great women. Usually if you can’t, it’s because you’re not looking in the right places (or you’re a teenager, and this really isn’t the time for that).
But if you have found a healthy environment and still can’t, you may be lacking a little virtue.
Yes. Perhaps you lack the patience to listen to it (are you not always talking about yourself and what interests you, in a vain self-advertisement?).